can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
