hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
