I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
