i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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