Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
