i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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