My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
