That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
me + whiskey = a bad person
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
