I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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