Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
