In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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