and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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