I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
