i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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