Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
