Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
