): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
