She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
