Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
