yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I smell like Dick and happiness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
