Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
