Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
