I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
false alarm. still invincible.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
