She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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