Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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