Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
