now i know why i became what i already was.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
