you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
