The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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