is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
