I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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