Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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