Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Randomize
