I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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