Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it because I queefed?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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