I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
