I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
