i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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