I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
