We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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