my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
