But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I look better un-naked...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
