i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
