I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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