Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
