I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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