the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
