it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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