cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
