i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
