whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
