After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
